


I Could Be Lonely With You

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Minor Finn/Rose Tico, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-06 22:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19071637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: When Poe suggests they pretend to date in order to deter people paying her too much attention, Rey knows it's a ridiculous idea but she agrees anyway. It works for a while, until she realizes maybe pretending to date Poe isn't actually what she wants.





	I Could Be Lonely With You

**Author's Note:**

> Title from lovelytheband. I started this several years ago so it now is essentially an AU because it doesn't fit anywhere in canon, oops.

“Honestly,” Rey complained, flopping down onto Poe’s bed after he had opened his door in response to her banging, “all the talking, it’s ridiculous. Sometimes I just want to have breakfast in peace.”

“Fancy that,” Poe said.

He wasn’t dressed yet. He was wearing an old t-shirt and his boxers, his hair a wild tumble of curls.

He must have still been sleeping. Oops. Well, Rey was doing him a favor. He probably would have been late for something if she hadn’t come in.

As if to confirm that, BB-8 whistled a reminder that Poe had a meeting in ten minutes, then thanked Rey for getting him out of bed as he had been most uncooperative.

Poe rolled his eyes. Rey grinned at BB-8.

“You don’t seem to mind talking to Finn or me,” Poe said as he searched for some clothes.

“That’s different. You don’t count.”

“Hey, thanks.” Poe lifted a shirt off the back of his chair and sniffed it. Finn would be appalled.

They were different, though, Finn and Poe. It wasn’t that people weren’t nice, but… Rey wasn’t used to so much noise. She wasn’t used to the constant watching, to everyone wanting to know her business, to people sitting down with her when she had clearly chosen to sit by herself.

Finn and Poe felt welcome and unobtrusive. Rey didn’t really know the others. They made her feel… anxious.

“I’m gonna get dressed,” Poe said, like he was warning her.

Oh. Right. Rey felt her cheeks flush. “Should I leave?”

“I don’t care what you do, honestly, but if you don’t want to see a whole lot of skin you might want to go. Or at least turn around.”

“I was kind of hoping to…”

Poe was smiling at her, that soft, kind smile of his. Non-judgmental. “Hide in here until you need to meet Luke?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re welcome to. I don’t mind. But like I said, lots of skin, so…”

Rey turned over on Poe’s bed and covered her eyes with her forearm for good measure. She heard his quiet chuckle and then the light rustling of clothing as he quickly changed.

“You’re safe now,” Poe said just as BB-8 was informing him that if he didn’t leave right now he would be late. “Yeah, okay, buddy, I’m going.”

When Rey looked at Poe he said, “You really can hide here, if you want.”

So Rey said, “Okay. Thanks. See you later?”

“See you later,” Poe agreed, leaving with BB-8.

Rey enjoyed the blessed quiet.

-

The mechanic had been hovering for the past ten minutes as Rey worked on the _Falcon_. Kira. She was nice, but… Rey did not need any help. She did not need any company. She was running out of excuses because Kira didn’t seem to be getting the idea.

Another minute and Rey was going to be rude. It wasn’t that she meant to be, really, but stars, she just wanted everyone to _leave her alone._

“Hey, Kira,” a pleasant male voice rang out. “Snap’s got a question for you, if you have a minute?”

Kira’s eyes widened slightly and she immediately straightened her spine to attention. “Of course, Commander, right away. Bye, Rey. It was nice chatting with you.”

“Bye,” Rey said, relief flooding over her. “I thought she’d never leave,” she said to Poe, once Kira was out of earshot.

“Happy to help,” Poe said, that warm crinkle near his eyes.

Rey closed the panel on the _Falcon._ “I mean, I told her I was fine, but she just…”

“I think that’s what they call flirting.”

Rey blinked at him. “What? With me?”

“Yeah, with you,” Poe said, knocking his fist against the front of Rey’s shoulder. “Once everyone realized you and Finn weren’t actually a thing, you both became highly eligible.”

“Eligible? For what?”

“For dating, of course.”

Rey felt like her eyes were bugging out of her skull. “For _dating?_ But I don’t… I really don’t want…”

“Don’t worry so much. You might get a few extra conversations and glances and compliments and what have you, but you’re not beholden to do anything about it. Politely decline if you’re asked to do something you don’t want and excuse yourself if you’re uncomfortable. Come get me if they’re pushy. Actually, you probably wouldn’t even need me. I expect you could punch them out quicker than I could.” Poe was smiling. “Not that I encourage punching.”

“I just…” Rey sighed. “I don’t know how this all works.”

“You’re doing fine. People are just interested, you know? You’re the beautiful, mysterious Jedi in training who can fly circles around most of my best pilots.”

For some stupid reason Rey was flushing. “I’m not mysterious.”

“Okay,” Poe said, laughing. “But I won’t take back the rest.”

Rey occupied herself with the _Falcon_ again so she wouldn’t think too hard about Poe paying her compliments.

-

Once Poe had pointed out what was behind all the extra attention, Rey started to wonder how she hadn’t realized it herself. It seemed obvious now that when Mel offered to bring her lunch or when Tai tried to make suggestions about the _Falcon_ or when Kasim sat next to her in the mess that they were all doing so because they wanted her attention and focus.

Rey was used to everyone wanting something from her. She just wasn’t used to it being _this._

“Pretty Resistance hero with a lightsaber,” Luke said once after Rey had exploded at him in frustration at the start of their morning training session. “What did you expect would happen?”

“Thought the lightsaber would be a deterrent,” Rey muttered.

Luke’s arched eyebrow was more than a little bemused. “You really don’t get how people work.”

“Did they do this to you? When you joined the Rebellion?”

“The Rebellion threw a great party,” Luke mused.

“Kriff,” Rey said.

-

The other thing about living on the base, beyond all the kriffing flirting, was that it was noisy. So, so noisy. Rey was better at shielding than she had been but there were just too many beings in too small a space with too many emotions for some of it not to bleed through.

Rey was getting really, really tired of knowing who was doing whom or who wanted to be doing whom or who wasn’t doing whom any longer.

“Does anyone on this entire base think about anything besides fucking?” Rey exclaimed as she went through Poe’s open door, finding him chatting with Finn.

Poe’s sudden coughing fit sounded suspiciously like laughter he was attempting to cover up.

“On that note,” Finn said, grinning as he got up, “I’m having dinner with Kaydel.”

Rey felt a sudden flare of jealousy. Finn seemed to have settled into life in the Resistance far easier than she had.

“Don’t think about fucking her, whatever you do, Rey doesn’t approve,” Poe said, ducking as both Finn and Rey swiped at him. “Hey, hey! Careful of the hair!”

Rey caught a fistful of Poe’s thick hair and pulled, just to be spiteful. Finn was laughing as he slid out the door and Poe groaned, batting her hand away.

“Aw, Rey,” he said, exaggerating his displeasure. Rey could tell by the shine in his eyes that he wasn’t really bothered.

Well, not much. He did have a vain streak when it came to his hair.

“You know there’s a solution to this,” Poe suggested, bumping her shoulder with his when they settled next to each other on the bed.

“There is?”

“Sure. It was better when people thought you were dating Finn, right?”

“Yes,” Rey said cautiously.

“So then, date someone.”

Rey blew out a puff of air through her mouth. “But that’s the problem! I don’t want to!”

“I didn’t say it had to be real.”

“What?”

“Just pretend. Put on a show, they’ll leave you alone.”

“Pretend to date someone? Poe, that’s ridiculous.”

Poe shrugged. “Just a suggestion, that’s all. You said you wanted a solution.”

“Okay,” Rey said. She could think about this hypothetically. “Okay, let’s imagine your stupid idea was actually a good solution to my problem. Who in the galaxy would I get to pretend to date me?”

“I’d say Finn, but…”

“But he’s enjoying his newfound freedom a bit too much.” This month was Kaydel, last month it had been Joph. Rey was happy for him, she was.

But she was kind of jealous, too. He made it look so _easy._

“Finn’s not the only friend you’ve got who would do it.”

“Oh? And who would this other mysterious, self-sacrificing friend be?”

“Me, obviously.”

Rey stared at him. “You?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“You… you…” Rey swallowed. “Why?”

Poe’s lips downturned faintly. “You don’t think I want to help you?”

“That’s not what I meant. I just… If you’re pretending to date me, you can’t be dating anyone for real.”

Rey wasn’t certain Poe actually dated, now that she was thinking about it. He hadn’t seemed to in all the time she had known him. But surely he must want to? He was handsome and funny and kind, and half the new recruits who came through the base seemed to adore him. Hell, half the base seemed to adore him. Most of the base. All of it, possibly.

“That’s all right,” Poe said, his expression a bit sad. “I don’t like having to tell anyone no. So really, you’d be doing me a favor.”

Rey watched him for a second and then decided it really wasn’t her place to ask. “I don’t want to date anyone. And you… don’t want to date anyone? So we just… pretend to date each other?”

“That’s about the gist of it, yeah. No unwanted attention.”

“But how…” How the kriff did a person pretend to be in a relationship?

“Well,” Poe said, his smile making a return, “you’re probably gonna have to spend some time in my company. I hope that’s okay.”

“I can suffer through it, I think,” Rey said, returning his grin.

This was going to be perfect.

-

It honestly didn’t feel much different at first. Poe started hanging around more, sitting with Rey at meals, coming over to watch her training sessions with Luke when he was free, which inevitably made Luke roll his eyes and tease them. Poe often asked her to help when he and BB-8 were working on _Black One,_ so that they all worked on the ship together.

None of that was precisely new; it was just… more. Poe was always around, and that was kind of okay.

It was when other people were around, too, that it got a bit different. When they ate in the canteen Poe would sit more closely than he usually did, so their thighs touched. Whenever they weren’t alone, when someone might be looking, Poe would drape his arm around Rey’s waist, or lean in and kiss her cheek, or touch her hand, or stroke her hip.

Rey was getting better at not flinching, at making it look like, yes, this was all completely normal, she enjoyed her boyfriend Poe’s handsiness, but she was terrible at following suit herself. She couldn’t make herself reach out and touch Poe.

A bit uncomfortable, a bit self-conscious, as they scrubbed scorch marks off _Black One,_ Rey mumbled, “Sorry. I’m bad at this. I’ve never been in a real relationship so I don’t know how to be in a fake one.”

“You’re doing fine,” Poe assured her. He nudged her shoulder with his. “Just don’t look totally repulsed by me and I think we’ll pull it off.”

Rey nudged him back a little harder, rolling her eyes, but for some weird reason she did feel better. She could do this.

Maybe a bit more convincingly than she had thought because Finn pulled her aside that evening to gaze at her with an expression that managed to be simultaneously upset and accusatory. “Are you seriously dating Poe? And you didn’t tell me? You didn’t tell me you were into him?”

Finn seemed genuinely hurt. Rey felt crappy even though the whole thing was just make-believe.

“No, Finn.” Rey shifted from foot to foot. “We’re… we’re pretending.”

“You’re pretending?”

“Poe thought it would get everyone to leave me alone, if I just… acted like I already had a boyfriend.”

Finn’s amused laugh wasn’t exactly the reaction Rey had expected. “Seriously? You don’t want people to flirt with you so you’re pretending Poe is your _boyfriend?_ Kriff, Rey, that’s crazy.”

“It was Poe’s idea,” Rey said defensively.

“Like I said. Crazy.”

“It’s practical. And it’s working; mostly everyone does leave me alone now.” It honestly hadn’t taken long. News spread fast around here, and gossip even faster.

“Well, yeah, not like anyone’s going to try to compete with Poe.” Finn paused. “But… you’re not actually into him?”

Rey was still learning how to make this whole friendship thing work but she recognized the insecurity Finn was displaying, the way he felt like Rey had left him out of something important to her. “No, Finn. I’d… You know I’d tell you. I’d tell you first. If I liked anyone.”

“Okay,” he said, grinning again. “So you’ll let me know when you start kissing Poe for real?”

Rey shoved him and figured that was the only response he deserved.

-

What Rey hadn’t expected was all the teasing.

Okay, well, maybe she had expected it from a couple of directions. Finn and Luke, mostly. She wasn’t surprised that Finn, even though he knew what was really going on, liked to make innuendo-laden jokes, or that Luke would sometimes raise his eyebrow and ask if Poe wasn’t too distracting for Rey.

It was the pilots that caught her off guard, the ones who were closest to Poe, from Black Squadron. Rey liked them, absolutely, but she still considered them Poe’s friends rather than hers, so it felt kind of strange when they greeted her warmly and welcomed her into their conversations like she belonged.

Or when they made knowing, sometimes dirty jokes about her and Poe that made her blush in spite of her best efforts.

Mostly, though, mostly Rey thought she liked them, even when they were embarrassing.

“Should’ve known he’d go for you,” Karé said as they passed each other in the ready room, Rey retrieving Poe’s helmet that he’d forgotten there before he essentially passed out from exhaustion.

“Huh?” Rey said, grabbing hold of the helmet.

“Poe. You won over his droid, so obviously he was gonna go for you.”

“I’m only dating Poe for better access to Beebee-Ate,” Rey said, and Karé laughed.

Or there was Jess, making modifications to her X-wing in the hangar while Rey and Poe worked on _Black One,_ who called over, “Hey, Rey, how is it coming in second place to a ship?”

“Poe comes in second place to a ship in my heart, too,” Rey called back, “so it works for us.”

She wasn’t sure who was more amused by that, Jess or Poe.

They tended to get a bit dirtier in their jokes when they spent time together after missions, when bottles of booze got passed around, when Poe would drape his arm around Rey’s shoulders to encourage her to lean into him. The alcohol made her feel warm, and so did the laughter of the pilots, and the press of Poe’s body. Sometimes she wondered if Poe’s loose curls were as soft as they looked, and she thought about wrapping her fingers in them.

She figured it would be okay if she did, considering their pretend partners status, but she couldn’t quite get herself to do it.

Snap wolf whistled when she and Poe got up to go to bed, Poe’s hand resting on Rey’s hip, and Poe flipped him off. In the corridor Poe dropped his hand and stepped just slightly away from her, putting space between their bodies.

He said, “Sorry about them. If you’re uncomfortable I can make them shut the hell up.”

Rey wasn’t sure why she felt so touched that Poe would ask. “It’s okay. I like them.”

Poe gave her a dubious look. “Honestly, it’s fine if you think they’re being assholes who should mind their own business. I kinda think that.”

“It feels like…” Rey chewed on her lip. “I never really had friends before. I guess I just like that they like me.”

Poe’s expression softened and he made as if to touch her before stopping himself. “They’re idiots but not that much. Of course they like you.”

“I guess it’s good, too, that they joke like that. It means they believe us, right?” Rey knew Poe was less than thrilled about lying to his friends about them, even if it was a fairly harmless lie, but the fewer people who knew it was a game, the easier it was to keep it up. They were probably the hardest ones to fool so if they bought it, then, well. Who wouldn’t?

“Right,” Poe agreed, and they turned in opposite directions to go to sleep in their own quarters.

-

Poe was upside down as he came into sight, blocking Rey’s view of the rocks she was carefully settling into a pyramid. The tilt of his mouth was faintly sheepish.

“Five minutes,” Luke said, with an air of reluctant indulgence.

Rey gently set the rocks down and tumbled forward out of her one-armed handstand, rolling back up onto her feet. “Hi,” she said, and Poe took her elbow to lead her a short distance away.

“I’m gonna be gone for a while,” he told her. “Wanted to say goodbye before I left.”

“I know,” Rey said. “But you didn’t have to… You know we’re only pretending. I doubt anyone would have noticed.”

“Just trying to be the best fake boyfriend I can be,” Poe said, a little bit impishly, and Rey was charmed in spite of herself.

That was why, she reasoned later, she impulsively leaned in and kissed his cheek.

“Bye,” she muttered, flustered, and averted her eyes from Poe’s startled expression. She wished he didn’t look so surprised; they were supposed to be dating. She hoped Luke wasn’t looking.

And then she felt the press of Poe’s lips on her cheek; he was grinning when she looked at him.

“Try not to miss me,” he said, and went on his way.

Rey’s cheeks were warm and she didn’t know what it was that she was feeling as she stared after him until Luke chimed in to tell her that her five minutes were up and to stop mooning over her boyfriend.

-

She didn’t miss him at all. Not even a little.

-

Finn and Kaydel amicably broke up and he started dating a sweet, shy mechanic named Rose. They were disgustingly cute together and Rey hated them a little bit as they all sat in the quarters Rose shared with her sister Paige.

Okay, she didn’t hate them at all, actually, but her eyes wanted to roll out of her head at the way they bickered affectionately, as though they had known each other for years. Finn was always touching her, too, rubbing her knee or the back of her neck.

It made Rey feel a bit inadequate, to be honest, like she wasn’t doing this fake girlfriend thing right, which was why she found herself plopping down into Poe’s lap to sit and trying not to blush.

Poe recovered himself admirably quickly. Finn was clearly trying very hard not to laugh.

Rose seemed not to notice anything at all, so Rey figured that must mean she had succeeded in looking halfway natural about the whole thing.

She shifted over Poe’s thigh, trying to get comfortable. He rested his hand on her upper back.

“Paige was surprised when you two started dating,” Rose offered, “said she thought Poe was married to the Resistance, or maybe the general, in his head.”

Finn laughed aloud and Poe shrugged sheepishly.

“She’s not entirely wrong,” he said.

“I wasn’t, though,” Rose went on. “Surprised, I mean. About you two.”

Poe’s fingertips were dancing in light circles over Rey’s back. “Yeah? Why’s that?”

“Dunno,” Rose said, a little like she was embarrassed. “It was just the impression I got. You have so much in common and you…” She blushed. “You look nice together.”

“I look good with everyone,” Poe joked, obviously defusing any surface tension, and Rey poked him.

“In your mind you do,” she said.

The rest of the evening stayed light but Rose’s comments had put a thought into Rey’s mind that she couldn’t banish. When they retired, Rey stopped for a moment in Poe’s quarters and hovered while he tossed his jacket over the back of his chair and took his boots off.

“Why did you agree to this?” she blurted out.

Poe paused in the act of removing his socks, sitting on the edge of his bed. “You coming in here? Because you kind of barge in all the time, and now you’re my fake girlfriend, so…”

“Being my fake boyfriend,” Rey interrupted, impatient and self-conscious. “You… you would look good with anyone, but you don’t, you spend all your time with your ship, and Beebee-Ate, and then you agreed to pretend to date me and it’s more than helping me, it’s… People don’t just volunteer for something this ridiculous if it isn’t helping them, too. So… so I just wondered why.”

She could barely look at him. Her nails were biting into her palms.

Poe’s gaze flickered away, too, and then back to Rey. He said, “I outrank almost everyone here, and the ones I don’t, well, mostly they outrank me. It’s… It’s hard, when you need people to see you a certain way, and you need them to listen to you, and you have to be able to discipline them when it becomes necessary, and… and sometimes you need them to do things that might get them killed. I can’t…” He swallowed. “I don’t want to be compromised. It’s hard enough when they’re my friends.”

Rey hesitated, nails digging in harder. She wasn’t sure what she had expected but it wasn’t that.  
“You outrank me, too,” she said eventually, quietly.

“Yeah,” Poe said. “But you’re kind of doing your own thing. I’m not responsible for you, not like I am for most everyone else.” He smiled faintly, lop-sided. “Besides, it’s not real, right?”

“Right,” Rey agreed, and didn’t know why she felt so strange, her insides twisting. “It isn’t real.”

Poe was only pretending to be compromised, so he wouldn’t have to be in reality. He was keeping her free from annoyance, and she was… protecting him.

She wondered who was getting the better deal out of this.

-

Rey ran into some trouble on a planet in the Western Reaches, but got through with little more than a good sweat and some bruises. Jess teased Poe about worrying when Rey got back to base, but he shrugged it off with a smile.

“Why would I worry?” he asked, kissing Rey’s temple. “I know she can handle herself.”

“He worried,” Jess mouthed exaggeratedly to Rey, which made her laugh.

It didn’t mean anything, Rey figured, even if it was true. Rey would worry a little about Finn, if he were in trouble, and she would worry about Poe, too. He was her real friend, even if he was only her pretend boyfriend. She still kind of liked knowing that maybe he cared.

‘Maybe’ was probably unfair. She knew he did.

And Rey maybe cared a lot, she realized soon.

Poe ran into trouble, too, following a lead out to a space station that led him right into the path of the First Order. That was the last contact they had from him, before his transmission broke up, before they lost him.

It wasn’t like things like this didn’t happen. They happened all the time, to everyone, because they were in a war. They happened maybe a bit more often to Poe, because he took the most missions, the trickiest missions, and honestly, trouble followed him. It wasn’t new, and Poe was good at what he did.

Rey worried, but only a little.

It was when too much time passed and they heard nothing that her worrying… well, it grew to more than just a little.

General Organa was close to authorizing Poe’s Black Squadron to trace Poe to his last known location in an attempt to recover him and Rey was close to asking if she could join them when Kaydel called the general over with, “General, I’ve got Commander Dameron on comm.”

Rey felt tension slide out of her shoulders.

Snap clapped her on the back. “Your boyfriend’s got more lives than the rest of us put together.”

“He needs them,” Rey said, and the others laughed, more relief than actual amusement, she thought,

She hung around the command center until Poe got back, trying to stay out of the way, knowing she was being indulged, not sure why she felt so certain she needed to stay here except that she wanted to be around if Poe contacted them again.

She was there when Poe’s _Black One_ came in on approach, when Kaydel gave him leave to land. She hurried out to the tarmac, lingering there amidst the bustle of pilots and mechanics and droids, watching BB-8 get lowered down to the ground, watching Poe climb out, his hair sweaty when he pulled his helmet off.

He smiled at her and Rey didn’t know why she did it; she didn’t know what made her do it except that her mind was a swell of confused feelings, the conflict between trying to figure out what an actual girlfriend would do and her real happiness and relief that Poe was here, safe and whole. She hugged him and pressed her lips to his, barely registering the teasing whistles of the nearby pilots as she felt the answering pressure of Poe’s mouth, his arms around her, his chest pressed to hers.

 

When Rey pulled back, she could feel the heat in her face. She looked at Poe, who seemed faintly bewildered and trying to hide it. He said, “Um, hi.”

“Get a room,” Karé called, and was met by rude hand gestures from both Rey and Poe.

She smiled at him, maybe a little nervously.

He said, “I have to talk to General Organa, but can I meet you after?”

Rey desperately wanted to say no but she knew there were enough people around that, even if they weren’t actively listening, she couldn’t really get away with brushing Poe off. Not and keep up their charade, anyway. “Okay,” she agreed, and slipped away.

 _Kriff, kriff, kriff,_ she thought as she walked away, and mentally kicked herself. Why the hell had she done that? Sure, Poe kissed her cheek sometimes, or her temple, or her hand, but she had… she had…

The flush was still in her face, on the back of her neck. She wasn’t sure if she was more embarrassed by the awkwardness of it or by the fact that she had… well, she had liked it.

Oh, kriff. She had liked it.

But that didn’t have to mean anything. Right? She liked Poe, absolutely, and he was probably good at kissing, so that was all it was. They were faking, so… so… It definitely didn’t mean anything. She would tell Poe that she had done it without thinking and that she was sorry if she had crossed a boundary and that they could just keep on the way they had been. Yes. That was all.

Rey had only been worried a little, because Poe was her friend.

Everything was fine.

Everything was still fine when Poe found her later in line in the canteen, filling her tray of food. “Mind if I sit with you?” he asked, the faint smile he offered her holding the tiniest trace of nerves.

Shrugging, Rey said, “Sure,” and he followed her.

After they sat, Rey picked at her suddenly unappealing dinner with Poe across from her.

He said, “So, uh. That wasn’t the greeting I expected.”

“I think I’ve mentioned already that I’m not very good at this faking thing,” Rey said, and wanted to die.

“You faked that pretty well, actually,” Poe said, and if Rey hadn’t known better she might have thought he was blushing.

“I just, um.” Rey swallowed. “Guess I got caught up. Tried too hard. I won’t do it again. Sorry for… for making you uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable,” Poe repeated. “Yeah, exactly, just what I was gonna say. We’ll keep it to the cheek next time.”

Rey stared at her plate, certain that this was the weirdest, most awkward conversation she had ever had in her life. “Okay,” she said, and made herself eat, her appetite gone. She knew better than to waste food and to go without eating, after all.

After a moment, Poe, his own plate still untouched, said, “I wouldn’t hate it if you ever saw the need to fake kiss me again.”

A somewhat hysterical giggle escaped out of Rey’s throat. When Poe laughed, she wasn’t sure if it was because of her reaction or because he had been joking the whole time, but soon they were both laughing and the tension between them eased.

Rey felt as though she had lost her hold on the rules of this game but at least the urge to hide beneath a rock had gone. She supposed she would figure out the rest as it came.

-

It never took long for Poe to need to leave base again, not even when he was barely returned from almost being lost. The general was sending him out with Black Squadron but this time, Rey was leaving, too, on the _Falcon_ with Luke and Chewbacca. She met Poe on the tarmac, partway between their ships, the sun shining behind Poe’s back.

“At least I can count on your squad to keep you in one piece,” she said.

Poe laughed a little. “Yeah, as long as they’re managing to keep themselves in one piece, too. They’ve always got my back.”

“Someone needs to.” Rey saw Luke gesturing impatiently out of the corner of her eye and made a face at him before saying, “Sorry, I’ve got to go.”

Poe glanced back and smiled wryly, shrugging. “My biggest fan. You’ll watch your back, too, though, promise?”

“I’m much more capable than you.” Rey touched Poe’s hand and he squeezed it faintly; they held hands briefly as they turned apart, palms sliding over each other until finally they separated. A small shiver ran down Rey’s spine at the lingering touch and she cursed herself inwardly as she continued walking away from Poe.

-

Luke teased her for moping the whole time they were away and that was… It was just… ridiculous, was what it was, and infuriating. Rey wasn’t _moping._ She wasn’t pining, either, which was Chewie’s unhelpful contribution.

Pining. As if she had a reason to.

She made quite a dent in the landscape venting her frustration during training.

-

She arrived back on base to learn that they were readying for a move. A couple of probe droids had been seen – and destroyed – and the general wasn’t taking chances with their safety. Rey had little that belonged to her but what she did have, Poe had already packed for her.

So she took her bag and headed back for the _Falcon,_ so they would be ready to depart with the remainder of the Resistance still on base only a day after their arrival. Finn joined her, Luke, and Chewie for the trip, to a planet halfway across the galaxy.

Prema had one large landmass centered around the equator, surrounded by ocean. It was a bit chillier than Rey had expected as she walked down the ramp from the _Millennium Falcon_ ; she rubbed her hands over her crossed arms.

Finn nudged her and teased slyly, “Lucky you’ll have Poe to keep you warm at night, huh?”

“Fuck off,” Rey muttered, and Finn only laughed.

“Ooh, look at that mouth! He teach you that word? Been hanging around the hangar too much, maybe?”

She ignored him, and she ignored the gruff sound of Chewbacca’s laughter in the background, too.

The rest of the day passed in a flurry of vaguely disorganized activity as everyone scrambled to get set up. There were a few bare structures already in place, with some underground tunnels leading to the barracks and the living quarters; Poe said it had been used briefly as an outpost during the Rebellion, sort of a refueling and supply depot for squadrons in between missions when they were in the area, a layover spot where they could rest safely. He also said that they’d done some rebilding in preparation for the Resistance’s relocation.

Night had long fallen and Rey was exhausted by the time she was able to start thinking about where she was meant to sleep. Poe found her, rubbing the back of his neck.

“So,” he said. “Here’s the thing.”

When he paused, Rey merely raised an eyebrow and waited.

“Uh, well. We don’t have a lot of space, right? And Leia… Leia thought, you know, since we’re, um, dating, that we could probably just share a room.” He said that last part all in a rush.

“What?” Rey said.

“We can share?”

Rey blinked slowly. “I thought Finn was just making fun of me.”

“Finn?”

“Never mind.”

Poe shoved his hands into his pockets. “Anyway. We have a room. Otherwise one of us can probably go in the barracks, or you could maybe share with some officers, or maybe I could, but it might look weird, because we’re supposed to be…” He shrugged, his cheeks the faintest pink. “Leia didn’t think it would be a problem. I didn’t know what to tell her.”

“It’s fine,” Rey said, surprising herself nearly as much Poe.

“It is?”

“Yeah.” She bit her lip. “We’re friends, right? What difference does it make?”

“Well,” Poe said, and gently tugged her down the hallway, past a rolling BB unit, around the corner where a couple of mechanics were laughing. He stopped in front of a room, checked his datapad, and then unlocked the door.

Inside the sparsely furnished, small room, he gestured to the bed. “The difference is probably that there’s only one bed.”

“Oh.” Rey felt suddenly very stupid and very warm, her face so hot that she felt certain she would feel the heat radiating off her cheeks if she touched them. She should have realized that.

“It’s okay,” Poe said, running his hand through his hair. He glanced to the bed, then to Rey. “I’ll just sleep on the floor.”

Rey was too embarrassed to protest.

-

The next night Rey did argue. She tried to convince Poe that if anyone was going to sleep on the floor, it should be her. She was used to rough living.

Poe didn’t take that well. His face was contorting into that wounded expression that indicated he was having a lot of feelings about her upbringing and wasn’t entirely comfortable about it. “You’re not sleeping on the floor,” he insisted, his tone taking on his Commander Dameron edge. “Besides, that argument is invalid. I’m a Navy pilot in the Resistance who flies X-wings. I can do uncomfortable.”

When Rey tried to take it further, Poe only ignored her, talking over her loudly to BB-8, whose domed headpiece swiveled in confusion from one to the other before he chattered to Poe.

So Rey did the mature thing and took the bed, and then the next morning she stepped on Poe’s face when she got up.

“Oh, sorry, forgot you were there,” she said, when Poe swore, startled awake.

She left him there and headed to the refresher.

-

The third night on their new base, Rey was out a bit later talking to Finn (“How’s it going with those chilly nights?” he teased her) and when she retired to her room, Poe was already there, asleep. On the floor.

Rey sighed. “So kriffing stubborn,” she said, crouching down beside him.

She knew he’d had a long day training new recruits and that tomorrow he was heading off-planet on a task for General Organa. She wished he would have taken the bed, just once, but she wasn’t sure she could have made him even if she’d been here. She had the impression that even if she had dragged a pillow down and made her own bed on the floor, Poe would have just continued to sleep on the floor too out of pure stubbornness, and the bed would have remained empty.

 She reached out and stroked his hair, marveling at the softness, then got ready for bed herself, wondering how she could fix this.

-

The answer supplied itself about two weeks later, after Poe had left and returned, then left and returned again, with Rey gone in between. Rey was lying in the bed, curled up in an attempt to generate more heat. She wasn’t a fan of Prema’s climate and the Resistance was too broke to waste energy on warming the base much.

After listening to Poe shifting around on the floor for a while, she heard him complain, “It’s fucking cold down here.”

Rey rolled onto her side so she could look down at him. “Obviously. You’re the one who insisted on sleeping down there.”

“Yeah. It’s not really Yavin Four.”

“I don’t have an extra blanket.” Rey paused, considering whether she wanted to do this, and then pushed ahead before she could change her mind. “But I do have a bed, where it’s warmer, and where we could share heat.”

Poe’s pause was significant, and then he sat up. “You what?”

Rey was glad it was dark enough that Poe wouldn’t be able to tell that she was blushing. “I’m not exactly warm here, either, so you’d be doing me a favor.”

“A favor.”

“Yes. And… and it’ll be better for your back. The floor can’t be good for you.”

“Is that a knock on my age?”

Rey shrugged. “Sounds like you’re insecure.”

“Insecure,” Poe muttered, and then he gathered up his pillow and the blankets he had been sleeping with, one to cushion him and one to keep him warm, before climbing up onto the bed. “Make some room, pal.”

She had… not expected that to actually work. Rey scooted over slightly as Poe settled himself, draping the blankets over them. It was a small bed so they were crammed up against each other and she reminded herself, _you wanted this._

Suddenly it seemed like a not good idea after all. She was certainly warmer but she was also… she…

It was only that she’d never shared a bed with anyone before, not really. She didn’t think falling asleep leaning on Finn in the back of the _Millennium Falcon_ counted. She wasn’t used to another body so close to hers, and it was different even from the casual contact she had grown accustomed to while spending time with their friends. It was different because they were alone, and they weren’t proving anything.

But Rey just wasn’t used to it. She was sure that was why she felt like this, hot in a way that had nothing to do with staying warm on a cold night. She didn’t know why she kept hearing Finn teasing her in her head, Poe keeping her warm.

“So this is definitely warmer,” Poe said.

“Yeah,” Rey agreed, and took a long time to fall asleep.

-

Poe was tucked up against Rey’s back, breathing into her neck, when she woke up the following morning. She felt her body stiffen with surprise and then let herself relax because honestly… it was kind of nice. He was warm and she liked how he felt so close to her, and she…

Okay, she was getting up now. Because they were friends, and she was fairly sure she wasn’t supposed to like the feel of his body this much.

Slightly irritated at herself, she was probably a bit rougher and louder in getting out of bed than she needed to be, jostling Poe as she crawled over him so that he mumbled something, half-awake. “I’m going to train with Luke,” she told him, quickly changing, and left before he could fully wake.

She felt flustered all through training, ignoring Luke’s cheerfully sly comment inquiring as to whether she had had a good night and whacking him harder than was really necessary with the training staves they were sparring with.

That only made him laugh and say, “So, not good, then?”

Rey scowled and attempted to work out her frustration with the stave.

-

In the evening they all gathered in the common room with cheap booze to toast Jess’ birthday; Finn and Rose had even commandeered the kitchens to make a sadly flat cake which didn’t taste any better than it looked, though it was still received with enthusiasm. BB-8 was playing some music for them and Rey was enjoying sitting and watching people dance until Poe dragged her up to join them.

She shook her head and protested but he was smiling in that sure way that Rey knew meant he wasn’t going to give up, so she relented, letting him have his way. That made him smile bigger, smug and victorious, and Rey rolled her eyes as he put his hands on her hips and guided her into swaying with him.

The unfortunate part was that she didn’t hate it. In fact, she might have even been enjoying herself, particularly when Poe seemed to take her continued acceptance as encouragement and got increasingly more ridiculous, spinning her while she laughed and not seeming to mind when she occasionally stepped on his toes or fell into him.

She was warm from the activity and laughter and probably the alcohol, too, by the time Poe left her to dance with Jess and she sat in a corner by Finn. He was smiling a bit crookedly at her and he asked, “Sure you’re still just pretend dating Poe?”

Rey blinked at him. “What?”

“You looked pretty comfortable out there.”

“We were just dancing.”

“Sure, but I’m just saying. Looked like you were into it.”

Rey busied herself by taking a large gulp of the bad alcohol (she was pretty sure the glass belonged to Finn but she wasn’t sorry at all for stealing it) and feeling it burn down her throat. “You know Poe’s my friend.”

Finn was watching her and she couldn’t make herself look back at him; she found herself watching Poe instead. He was with Jess and Karé, the three of them dancing together, silly and drunk and uncoordinated but clearly having a good time. Rey really liked Poe’s smile, she realized, and made herself stop thinking that.

“I know that,” Finn said. He paused like he was thinking about saying something but what came out of his mouth was only, “How long are you going to pretend to date so you don’t have to do it for real?”

“Maybe I don’t want to date for real. Maybe I think it’s… stupid, and complicated, and…” Rey twisted her fingers into the fabric of her wrap. “This is okay.”

Finn hummed lightly. “How long do you think he’s gonna want to do it?” he asked as Poe started heading over towards them.

A strange cold feeling was working its way into the pit of Rey’s stomach. She was saved from having to answer by Poe plopping down beside them; he leaned against Rey and draped his arm around her shoulders, kissing her temple like it was a natural reflex.

Rey didn’t care for the way Finn was looking at them.

“I think this bad booze turned my stomach,” Rey said. “I have to be up early anyway; I’m going to go to bed.”

“I’ll come with you,” Poe said, and Rey pressed her hand down on his shoulder as she stood up.

“No, it’s okay. Jess was your friend first. You should stay.”

“Jess is so drunk she’ll be passed out in her bed soon anyway. Let me take you to bed.”

Rey could see Finn still watching them with interest and she felt her cheeks heat up. Stupid. He hadn’t meant…

But Poe was flushing just a little, too, and Rey felt better knowing that she wasn’t the only one feeling like an idiot.

“Come on,” Poe said, steering Rey towards the door, his arm firm around her. “See you tomorrow,” he said to Finn, and Finn waved at them.

“Hope you two have a great night,” he called after them, the grin in his voice evident, and Rey muttered something rude underneath her breath.

Poe laughed, keeping his arm around her even after they were alone in the corridor with no one around to fool. “Are you really not feeling well?”

“No, not really. Just had enough of the party, I guess.”

“Sorry. I know this isn’t your favorite. Big groups and parties and whatever.”

“No, I did have fun,” Rey said because it was true, and was glad when Poe seemed relieved.

In their quarters they both undressed, backs to each other, and when Rey turned back around, Poe was standing in his underwear and a t-shirt and he said, with an air of sheepishness, “You gonna mind if I crash in the bed again?”

Her insides fighting between discomfort and want and confusion and something Rey couldn’t quite figure out, she said, “You’re drunk. I’m not that mean.”

“Neat,” Poe said, and climbed into bed.

Rey tucked herself in afterwards and tried not to think about what it meant that Poe nearly immediately gravitated towards her, lying close to her side. He fell asleep quickly and so did she, barely minutes later.

-

The slide of Poe’s mouth over her jaw made her sigh; the nip of his teeth on her neck made her gasp. She flexed her fingers into the sheets, back arching, as he moved his way down her body, lips and teeth and hands. She was writhing in an effort to get closer, wanting more, but he was just teasing, and it was so good and yet so far from enough and –

Rey woke up hot and sweating and disoriented, staring over at Poe.

“Oh, no,” she moaned, and cursed herself. That was… that was…

“What’s the matter?” Poe mumbled, reaching blindly for her hip.

Rey rolled over him and out of the bed, desperate to be as far away from him as she could be and desperately hoping she hadn’t done anything stupid enough that he would know… he would know…

Damn it.

“Nothing,” Rey said, grabbing her pants and yanking them on. “Told you I had to be up early, remember?” Her own clothes suddenly seemed too complicated and she instead seized Poe’s shirt from where it was lying in a heap on the floor. “Borrowing this, okay?”

“Okay,” Poe said, clearly still mostly asleep, and Rey pulled it on over her head before escaping outside the room, ignoring a questioning beep from BB-8.

The shirt smelled like Poe. Crap.

-

“Late night?” Luke asked when Rey joined him for meditation. (Neither of them was very good at it. Luke still insisted they make the effort.)

“I think you’re supposed to be nicer to me,” Rey said, folding her legs and centering herself, floating lightly up a few inches into the air where she sat.

“I guarantee you that hasn’t been my experience. You should have met Master Yoda.”

Though Rey wanted to contemplate further on what Luke might have been like at her age, learning from his own master, she made herself quiet her mind and focus. It was hard, especially when she couldn’t quite seem to ignore the soft sensation of Poe’s shirt against her skin and when she kept imagining that she could smell him on it.

It was a particularly poor meditation session.

Perhaps if it had been more successful she wouldn’t have found Finn so annoying when he teased her at lunch about stealing her boyfriend’s clothes, and maybe she wouldn’t have been so flustered by the way Poe smiled at her when he ran by her in the corridor, on the way to a meeting.

“Nice shirt,” he called, and Rey tried not to feel mortified.

Friends could borrow friends’ shirts. Absolutely. It wasn’t weird.

And friends could definitely smell their friends’ borrowed shirts when they took them off and appreciate how much they smelled like their owners. Right? Rey was sure they could.

Rey flung the shirt onto the floor and collapsed onto the bed. “Damn it,” she said.

-

She spent so much time now training and running after reports of activity of Kylo Ren or his Knights of Ren that sometimes Rey forgot how good it felt to immerse herself in mechanics. Occasionally she was able to spend time with Poe while he fussed with _Black One,_ or Chewbacca with the _Millennium Falcon,_ but it was never often enough, and she rarely had the chance to make time just… fiddling. It was one of the things she envied about Rose, given her role within the Resistance.

It wasn’t that Rey begrudged her own position, or certainly not that she wanted to be back scavenging on Jakku. But she sometimes missed the hours spent making something broken work again.

That was why, she supposed, she didn’t realize she had been helping Jess modify her X-wing in the hangar for what must have been hours until Poe came by looking for her. “Maybe I should have brought dinner with me,” he said, at which point Rey’s stomach grumbled loudly.

He laughed.

Rey and Jess shrugged at each other. “Oops,” Jess said.

The urge to smile was impossible to overcome, particularly when Poe sighed and rolled his eyes theatrically. “I’m a little offended you don’t get this distracted over me and _Black One,_ Rey,” he said.

“I’m obviously better company,” Jess pointed out, stroking the side of her ship. “And my girl’s prettier.”

Poe gasped, hand on his chest. Rey honestly wasn’t sure if he was being facetious or not. “Beebee,” he called, and the droid rolled over from across the hangar. “Beebee, we’ve been betrayed.”

BB-8 swiveled between them, emitting a low beep of confusion.

“Ignore him, Beebee-Ate,” Rey interjected, trying hard to keep a straight face. “His honor’s been insulted and he’s being dramatic.”

“Pava said this rust bucket is prettier than _Black One,_ ” Poe said, his voice like carefully modulated horror, “and Rey didn’t disagree.”

When BB-8 burst out into a cataloguing of _Black One_ ’s virtues, Rey took one look at Jess and they both dissolved into laughter. Rey leaned one hand onto Jess’ shoulder, bracing her weight as she bent forward in mirth.

When they were able to recover themselves, Jess wiped a bit of grime from off Rey’s cheekbone and said, “Thanks for helping, honestly. I’ll be happy to steal you from your boyfriend anytime you want.”

“It might be more often than you were planning,” Rey said. “Not sure he’ll let me touch his ship again.”

“Trust has to be earned, and you’ve lost it,” Poe agreed, though the amusement in his eyes was obvious.

“See you later,” Rey said, and walked along with Poe, BB-8 rolling beside them.

They were quiet through the long stretch of corridor leading underground from the hangar into the living quarters. Eventually Poe nudged Rey’s arm as they walked. “I’d get it if you didn’t want to do this anymore,” he said.

Rey drew her eyebrows together in question. “Do what?”

Poe gestured vaguely. “This. This thing.”

“You mean… dating?” Rey was careful not to voice any words like ‘fake’ or ‘pretend’ aloud as they passed a couple of mechanics and then a droid.

Humming in affirmation, Poe said, “Yeah.”

Rey wondered what she had missed. If he were bothered by her being a bit weirder than usual, this seemed like an odd moment for it come out. He hadn’t even seemed to mind the shirt thing; he’d seemed amused, if anything.

And he was the one who initiated the cuddling, really, and there was no way he could know about… er… right? He absolutely couldn’t know about the dreams.

Before Rey could dig herself further into a mental hole, Poe went on, “I know it was always going to be temporary. So if you’re ready to try something real, you can tell me. We’ll… we’ll break up.”

Rey pulled Poe into a corner so she could see his face better; BB-8 skidded to a surprised halt by their feet. “Is that what you want?”

“I want what you want.”

“I thought you liked spending time with me.”

Poe looked crushed by that. “I do! Rey, you know I do.”

“Then what’s this about?” Rey liked the status quo. She did. It was easier than admitting that maybe her feelings about Poe had become slightly more than friendly, because that wasn’t something she knew how to deal with.

“Just looked like you were having a good time.” Poe wouldn’t meet her eyes anymore.

There was a tiny voice in Rey’s mind wondering if this was what jealousy looked like, but she ignored it as it was obviously ridiculous. “Jess is my friend, so yeah, I was. Doesn’t mean I want to go back to awkward flirting and avoiding dates.”

“Okay,” Poe said, caught somewhere between what might have been relief and doubt. “But if you ever are ready for that, just tell me.”

“But what if you aren’t?”

“Doesn’t matter. This was always to help you.” Poe finally smiled a little. “I don’t mind manufacturing a big fight if you want me to. I’d even let you hit me.”

“Tempting,” Rey said, lips twitching, and reassured a faintly alarmed BB-8 that she wouldn’t hit Poe very hard, not even if he fake deserved it.

As they continued walking to the canteen, Rey couldn’t stop thinking about how much she didn’t want Poe to pretend to break up with her. The problem was that she wasn’t sure where she went from there, or even if she could.

-

Rey didn’t know exactly how she had ended up wearing a borrowed dress at a fancy party on Chandrila but she was fairly certain it had something to do with reassuring the galaxy that the Jedi were still fighting for them and Luke finagling himself out of it due to the benefits of being the older one, or something like that.

The dress constricted her breathing. She’d have to tear it if she needed to fight.

The plus side, Rey supposed, was that she liked the way Poe looked all cleaned up in his dress uniform, even if he complained that it was itchy and his boots pinched.

Finn and Rose were way too happy about being here to represent the Resistance. Though, Rey considered, she ought to follow their example in taking advantage of the free food. She snorted a little as she spied them across the room, Finn’s expression one of pure bliss as Rose offered him an appetizer.

“Bring me back some booze,” Poe said, nudging her and grinning. “I’ve got to know somebody here from the Navy; find me later?”

Rey squashed down the urge to kiss Poe’s cheek and squeezed his hand instead. “Yes.” She glided her way through the crowd, not entirely able to avoid forced conversation but coming out of it mostly unscathed.

“Rey!” Finn said as soon he saw her coming up to them. “Try these fish things. Dunno what they are but they’re amazing.”

Rey ate three. They _were_ amazing.

“Where’s Poe?” Rose asked, tugging at her plunging neckline. Rey was somewhat appeased knowing she wasn’t the only one who felt uncomfortable in an impractical dress.

“Said he was going to look for someone he knew.”

“He knows us, doesn’t he?”

“I think General Organa was expecting him to mingle more than she expected us to,” Finn pointed out. “And as good as he is at faking it, he doesn’t much like this kind of thing. He’s probably trying to make it easier on himself.”

Rey nearly choked on a sip of wine when Finn said ‘faking it’. Finn’s knowing glance was annoying.

“Well, we’ll have to rescue him, then,” Rose said. “The food’s great.” She glanced around. “There’s a refresher in here, surely?”

Finn shrugged. “Somewhere. Let us know after you find it?”

“Back in a minute,” Rose agreed, leaving Finn and Rey at the table alone.

“See, this really isn’t so bad. Much better than getting shot at, which is how we spend most of our time lately.”

“I’d rather get shot at,” Rey muttered, searching for Poe in the crowd. Unsuccessfully, as he’d apparently vanished. Maybe he’d found his friends.

“Poe looks good though.”

“Really good,” Rey agreed without thinking, then felt heat flood her cheeks.

Finn was laughing. “It’s okay to notice, you know. And it’s okay to like it.”

A vivid memory of the dream she’d had more than once now filled Rey’s head, which didn’t do anything to help her embarrassment. “Maybe I do like it,” she admitted, and Finn’s eyebrows shot up his forehead.

“Really? I mean, really? Because you know I’ve mostly been teasing.”

Rey sighed and leaned her back against the table. “I think I like pretending, but I think the reason I do is because I get to be with Poe without it being hard and messy and complicated, except that it’s sort of complicated anyway because I’m not really with him, and I know he doesn’t want to be, and I think I’d like to…”

“Not fake it,” Finn finished for her, sympathy softening his features.

“Maybe. I don’t know.” Rey didn’t know much of anything except that Poe was her friend and she loved spending time with him and she kind of really wanted to kiss him. Maybe even without an audience.

Preferably without an audience, actually.

“In my extensive experience,” Finn said, gently teasing, “it’s usually easier when you tell the person you like that you like them. Even if doing it isn’t actually easy.”

Not for the first time, Rey wished she were a bit more like Finn. She wished it even more when Rose came back, jubilantly pointing out the direction of the refresher like she had discovered something wonderful (she might have, to be fair; it sounded like it must have cost more than half the Resistance base) and kissed him casually on the mouth.

Snagging a glass of wine from a passing serving droid, Rey said, “Promised I’d find Poe and bring him some alcohol.”

“You’ll probably still find us by the food later,” Finn said, Rose nodding her agreement.

It was easier to locate Poe than Rey had thought it would be; she just found the biggest group of Navy uniforms. He smiled at her and waved, accepting the glass gratefully. “Thanks, pal.” He slid his free arm around her waist. “This is Rey, I’m sure you’ve heard of her.”

“The Jedi from Jakku,” an older Mon Calamari said. “The holonews is fond of you.”

“Unfortunately,” Rey said, squirming a little at the attention, and a few of the officers chuckled.

“Rey’s my…” Poe started to say, and then bit his lip, glancing at her.

There wasn’t really a need to let Poe’s friends think they were dating, not unless one of them was about to make advances on her, which seemed unlikely. There wasn’t a need for the charade at all here, honestly, at least not yet.

In spite of knowing that, Rey pressed a little closer to Poe and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Girlfriend. He’s very proud,” she said with a little smirk.

“Very,” Poe agreed, his surprise melting away as he followed her lead.

They had gotten good at pretending together, after all.

-

They continued pretending all evening, through drinks and dances and a couple of guests who were more interested in Rey than she wanted them to be, plus a few who were overly eager to try their luck with Poe. Poe was even handsier than he usually was and there was a constant warmth pooled into Rey’s belly, pleasure and want and coiled nerves.

They were dancing now to avoid more attention, so many beings wanting to talk to them and congratulate them and thank them for their sacrifices and appease their own consciences by showing favor for the Resistance without having to actually do any of the gritty work it took to stay ahead of the First Order. It was a bit nauseating, really, and gave Rey what seemed to be an impossibly increased respect for General Organa, given her time in politics.

So they were dancing, close enough to feel each other’s warm breath, Poe’s chest pressed to hers, his hands skimming down her sides and over her hips. Dark curls were falling into his face and he was really, truly ridiculously handsome, particularly up close. It wasn’t fair, especially when Rey kept finding herself imagining what else his hands could do, or his mouth.

It was Poe, finally, who took her hand and dragged her outside the hall, where it was just a bit quieter, and far emptier, just scattered groups and couples catching a breath or waiting to leave or, in the case of two Twi’leks, having a fight, apparently.

“You were all over him!” one of them was shouting, and Poe and Rey both snorted laughter and moved farther away.

“Maybe we should eavesdrop,” Poe said. “Might be able to use some of it for our pretend break up argument.”

Rey was still warm and flushed and remembering the feel of Poe’s hands on her. “Maybe,” she said, “I don’t want to break up. Pretend or otherwise.”

Finn, she realized, was right. Even if it was hard to do, it would be easier in the end than to keep lying to herself that she was okay with the way things were. It would be easier just to know.

Poe brushed a hand through his curls, mussing them. “I’m not sure what that means.”

“It means,” Rey said, swallowing. “It means I think maybe I, um, maybe I kind of like the pretending, and wish it wasn’t pretend.”

Poe was silent for what, for him, was a very long time. Rey wondered if she could will a hole into the floor with the Force that she could disappear through.

“Or not,” she said. “I’ll slap you and say we broke up. You were too interested in that green-haired ex-senator.”

“Don’t do that,” Poe interjected quickly, taking a step towards her. “Please don’t do that.”

Something like hope was curling inside her. “Then…”

“I was trying not to be compromised but I am,” Poe said. “I’m so, so compromised.”

Before Rey could do much more than register what he had said, Poe was kissing her, his hands on her upper arms, pulling her close. She froze, and then relaxed, breathing into it, wrapping her arms around his back, gripping into the thick material of his uniform.

It wasn’t the first time they had kissed, but this time Rey wouldn’t have to pass it off as an error of judgment, as getting too immersed in the game, because this time she knew what she wanted, and this time it was genuine. For both of them. In Rey’s limited experience, it was the best kiss of her life.

“Did you want to go back in?” Poe asked, his breathing just a little heavier, his thumb circling Rey’s hipbone.

“Not really. You know I hate parties.”

“Okay, good. Because I don’t want to either.” Poe smiled when Rey scraped her fingernails over the beck of his neck. “Think we can have more fun out here.” His smile gained the tiniest edge into wickedness, and a whole lot of promise.

Rey couldn’t wait to find out what Poe was like when he wasn’t pretending.

 

 

 


End file.
